So my Dad passed away Wednesday night.  10/30/2019  He had a stroke last week and never recovered.  I spoke to him over the phone the day after it happened and that was the last time he was able to speak. I'm numb, hurt, angry, confused and wreckles.  I'm eating everything in sight and don't care.  So lesson number one, I am a professional at eating my emotions.  Knowing this is what I do is half the battle.  I joined a group online and will start a water challenge on 11/4 for a week.   I will be drinking half of my body weight a day in ounces.  So 230 ounces a day.  We'll see if I float away or drown...lol

We all have people in our life that support us and genuinely try to help us.  But when it comes down to it we have to support and love ourselves.  How do I do that? How do I look at myself in the mirror and say, " I love you." I believe that I have to learn about someone in order to love them.  Now I begin the journey to learn about me in order to take steps toward loving myself.  It won't be easy but if I don't take this journey, I'm going to die.

Too far gone!

I haven't been on here for a long time.  I sometimes do feel too far gone.  The damage being obese does to my body is awful.  I don't know why my family still accepts me, wants to be seen in public with me and aren't embarrassed.  I can't even look at myself.  Only one way to change that...my journey starts again now....

Only a few months have passed and so much has changed in my life.  Over the Holidays we moved, I know very stressful and then add moving.  But we had to and we are in a better place now.  Then I started working full time and I managed to make it through all of this stress and I'm now down to 393.  Not much but I'm just proud of myself for not letting the stress get to me.  I do love to eat my feelings.  I am no longer the Leader of my Tops chapter and that has taking a big load off of my shoulders.  I am still a cub scout leader but I just love the time I get to spend with those energetic boys so no stress there.  My job, I do love but the hours can be hard for my family.  We do what we must to keep on keepin on though.  Happy water drinking and making of good choices people!  Until next post.

Gone too long.....

I am happy to report that I'm now at 398.  So happy to be under the dreaded 400 mark.  I'm soooo happy about that.  It's been hard but it's still a day to day struggle. Every thing I put into my body requires me to think about it and make a choice.  I wish I could say it was easy, but the truth is, I will have to keep thinking about my food until my good choices become great, natural habits.  I'll try not to stay away so long, I'm working full time now so my time is limited but I'll try harder to keep you all informed of my progress. 

Patients!

I don't want to be patient.  I'm at 401 and have been for two weeks now.  When will my body catch up to my brain and get under that dang number already?  I'm sure there are many technical reasons why my body is taking it's sweet time, but to be quite honest, I don't give a crap!  I have been watching my portions, drinking my water, working out even though I have a partial tear to my left ankle tendon and I want to see some results.  I can totally see why people give up.  I won't give up, I would like to some days but getting through the bad days is where the prize lies.  I must carry on and hope that next Thursday, the scale is kind to me. 

Kristine

Post 4th of July!

I had a really good 4th. I managed to stay active.  I even tossed the football around at the river, I had forgotten that I could spiral it pretty good.  I played a little volleyball, without moving too much because I am nursing a partial tendon tear on my ankle.  Then there were the horseshoes, very fun, even if I didn't score at all.  It felt really good to be with friends that didn't judge me for my size and didn't make me feel out of place.  After my 402 weigh in I had a 3 pound gain.  I'm sure it was from just eating a bit too much over the Holiday so I'm not beating myself up about it.  I hope to have a loss this week and have been watching my portions.  Summer is always hard on me because I am already insulated and any heat is miserable for me.  Hard to run errands, sleep, just function in general.  Once my weight is down some more, that won't be such an issue.  Have a great week people....................................