So my Dad passed away Wednesday night.  10/30/2019  He had a stroke last week and never recovered.  I spoke to him over the phone the day after it happened and that was the last time he was able to speak. I'm numb, hurt, angry, confused and wreckles.  I'm eating everything in sight and don't care.  So lesson number one, I am a professional at eating my emotions.  Knowing this is what I do is half the battle.  I joined a group online and will start a water challenge on 11/4 for a week.   I will be drinking half of my body weight a day in ounces.  So 230 ounces a day.  We'll see if I float away or drown...lol

We all have people in our life that support us and genuinely try to help us.  But when it comes down to it we have to support and love ourselves.  How do I do that? How do I look at myself in the mirror and say, " I love you." I believe that I have to learn about someone in order to love them.  Now I begin the journey to learn about me in order to take steps toward loving myself.  It won't be easy but if I don't take this journey, I'm going to die.

Too far gone!

I haven't been on here for a long time.  I sometimes do feel too far gone.  The damage being obese does to my body is awful.  I don't know why my family still accepts me, wants to be seen in public with me and aren't embarrassed.  I can't even look at myself.  Only one way to change that...my journey starts again now....